Puck's Diary.....

So I said that I was going to tell you all a story about love, didn't I? Well, so here goes......

In Athens there were two girls, the best of friends, their names were Hermia and Helena. Hermia was in love with handsome Lysander, Helena was in love with Demetrius. Demetrius was in love with Hermia, and so was Lysander. Confusing, isn't it? It's alright, even I couldn't get it when Oberon explained it at first. Hey, maybe if I bewitch you, you'll understand too! But I'm not allowed to do that, so maybe you could...draw it out?

Anyways, back to my story. So, Hermia's father Egeus wanted her to marry Demetrius, but Hermia wanted to marry Lysander. And there was a very cruel law: if daughters refuse to marry the man their father chooses for her, they will be put to death. Now that's spiteful! So Daddy Egeus took his daughter to the Duke. Now that's even worse! And the great Duke Theseus gave Hermia four days to consider her marriage to Demetrius or be put to death. Of course, our dear Hermia was in tears and she went to Lysander who decided that they should elope to his aunt's house outside Athens. Hermia told her best friend Helena of her plan. 

Helena secretly went and told her beloved Demetrius, who she was sure would follow Hermia into the forest, and then decided to follow him. All of them ran off into the forest. Demetrius found Helena and got very very angry at her! 

That's when I came into the story. Oberon and his queen Titania were at odds with each other over a changeling boy whom both of them wanted. Oberon ordered me to bring the magical flower 'Love in Idleness' to spray on Titania's eyes. He wanted revenge, you see!

It was a hilarious prank, because 'Love in Idleness' makes the person fall in love with the first living thing they see!! Ha ha ha!! And while I was out getting the flower, Demetrius screamed his head off at Helena. Oberon felt sorry for Helena and told me to spray some of the flower onto the eyes of "a man dressed in Athenian garments" - those were his exact words, I tell you. So I found Lysander, who was dressed in Athenian garments, thought he was Demetrius, and sprayed the flower in his eyes. Then off I went. 

Little did I know what happened! Helena walked by looking for Demetrius, found Lysander and touched him. Of course, he then woke up and fell in love with Helena. Helena thought it was a prank and got angry. Lysander left Hermia and ran after Helena now. Oberon was angry when he saw the blunder I had committed. But how am I to blame? He just said - man in Athenian garments! Talk about not being specific!

So I found Demetrius and sprayed the juice in his eyes. He too, saw Helena first and fell in love with her. Hermia at that moment woke up and was surprised at not finding Lysander. She found Demetrius and Lysander quarrelling over Helena. She surely didn't find that funny. The two friends Hermia and Helena turned enemies. Oberon was furious now! 

Alright, you can take a break from all the anger and confusion.  Oberon had already sprayed Titania with the love juice. Meanwhile, a very strange clown came along and fell asleep nearby. I bonked an ass's head on his, and he woke up (hey! I did it gently, all right?). Titania woke up and fell in love with the ass-headed guy - what was his name? - Bottom, right. So she fell in love with him and spent time with him and her attendants. 

And yes, the whole time I was watching her, I was laughing my head off with Oberon. Because she was saying things like 'Let me play with your amiable furry ears" and 'Oh, would you like some fruits?" And I was thinking, the elegant beautiful Queen Titania - now with an ass. He's an ASS mind you, he doesn't eat fruits! (yes, because with an ass's head, he got an ass's appetite too) 

Well, back to our Athenian lovers. So, the friends were fighting. I put them to sleep and sprayed the antidote to the love potion into Lysander's eyes. The next morning everything was resolved, even Titania's affair with the ass, because she agreed to give Oberon the changeling boy. 

Then worried Egeus found his daughter and when Demetrius said he didn't want to marry Hermia, Egeus consented to Lysander's wedding with Hermia. Basically, everything fell into place almost magically. Well of course, I played my part well!

So what did you learn? I sure learnt this: "The course of true love never did run smooth." Don't you think that's true? 

And now, if you are annoyed with fairy pranks and blunders, just consider all of this to be a pretty harmless Midsummer Night's Dream. (what, you didn't like that? Oh come on, it's my favourite line!)